Hello everybody, I understand fully that I have not written directly in rather a while, my writing has been extremely on/off recently, and it has been something that has been upsetting and stressing me out a lot. I started my blog about 1 year and a little bit ago. A random but very eye-opening decision that would, in the future, make me doubt, work, flourish, and question. When I began my blog, I had a lot of time of my hands. I would write everyday, adored it, criticised my every piece and tried so hard to make it better. Through my time of blogging I have hurt more, created more, and felt beautiful because of it.
I hate that I haven’t had the time. Because I really love writing. I love connecting with people. And I would be heartbroken if I lost that because I took a break. I needed time. I had exams, ones I’d been preparing for for years. They were hard, mentally challenging. Juggling mental issues with strains on all strings of your life then not having the time to spill it out the way you used to.
After my exams, to update you, I obvs received my results. They were rather good ( I literally just hid my face while writing this I CAN’T complement myself). I got a*’s in my English exams, which I was so happy about. As you can probably tell, I do love using words. I had to leave people behind. Leave a me behind, now that I think of it. Truth is, there were some beautifully fractured moments of these last 5 years. But I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t whole.
So then I had to move on with my life, fearlessly diving in with a new sort of vulnerability. Wanting desperately to just be me, because I’ve realised I can be pretty fierce and that it’s a great thing to be a fierce woman. You can be gentle and fierce. Dainty and fierce. Opinionated and fierce. Because within embodying your own essence you’re becoming power anyway.
Then I decided to write again. I wrote a poem about a butterfly that I will probably repost since I was having 59,000 technical difficulties (shout out to the people who commented on my random technical difficulties post), so not many people saw them. Which I won’t lie, left me a little worried. I would hate to have lost the most amazing connections to people. Because I appreciate every single one of them so much.
So… To conclude. I am still v busy, but am going to try my absolute hardest to start posting properly again. I hope I’ve explained enough as to where I have been and I cannot WAIT to be creative again. I hope you all have a great poetic happy lil day.
Thank you so much for reading!