Throughout my life, I have felt pain. I have felt pain that I avoid acknowledging, I have felt pain that I am reminded of daily, I have felt pain that creates happiness, and pain that creates silence. Most of the time, I have had this mindset towards pain that attempts to push its power down a little. Rather than accept that I am hurting, I like to reprimand myself with the idea that people feel worse than me, that there is worse than me and there is worse than this. I cover up my absolute hurting everything with either humour or plain and simple ” But somebody out there has it worse”
The thing that I have come to realise is, everybody’s pain is important and should be acknowledged. Just because your pain is not at the magnitude of somebody else’s does not mean it does not matter.
Through pain I have seen me, I have learned to rely on me a little more. I have learnt to build me, then knock me down, then make me something new all over again. And whilst I know I need people and love and support, I also know that I need myself. I need me to tell me that I will be ok. I need me to tell me that I am beautiful and worthy, that I am strong and clever, that I can get through everything, even if I had nobody. I need me to rely on and I think that is something we often forget. At the end of the day, people are so so beautiful, but you should not just rely purely on that beauty, you should rely on your strength and beauty too. Because you are beautiful and you are strong. You are intelligent and powerful. You are not just pain.
I have always been a person to live by the principle of never judging some bodies situation. I think that as a humanity we should be able to sit down and address problems instead of just covering ourselves up in lies and wobbling through life. If the whole world opened their heart to kindness and transparency, I think we would see how truly beautiful people are.
In conclusion, all I really want to say today, is that it is ok.
It is ok to not feel what everybody is expecting you to feel. It is ok because it will end. You just have to harness that pain and let it make you stronger. Rely on your heart. Rely on yourself. And it will all be ok.