I find quite often that I cannot explain my thoughts like they are playing in my head. Maybe my mind is to full, or it just isn’t something that sounds pretty enough to hear. Sometimes, I just can’t do it. And it is hard because that is usually ‘my thing’. I like put something into words and make it alive. So instead of trying to see through the haze of my mind and think about how I am saying what I am thinking, I thought I would go with my current purpose and write. I have decided to make a series of blog posts called ‘thoughts’, these posts will not be written on one day in particular. More so a series of thoughts that I have written over time and will then post. They will be a literal chain of thoughts, not the perfect clean sort of writing. Truly, a jumbly mess of mind. I will not erase my words or try to polish them. These words will be written as a continuous thought process, that is spread throughout a random time period. This is for the pretty and the not so pretty. I hope you enjoy. Some thoughts.
life is a very big thing. And we are very small next to it. People too often get stuck in a mindset where they can only see in the now. Not the future. Not the rest of the world. They do not see the worlds size, only their size and their piece of the world. And that is fine, it is just not me. I like to spend time, to analyse. I think about the size of this life and world, and I may just be mature for my age but I do not obsess about things that most people of my age worry about so much, I like to look at the worlds size, and I put myself in perspective to it. Life is a very very big thing, and that is why the little things that we become so obsessed with and worried over do not matter. People’s opinions of you, the way you look, the way you dress. They are all nothing compared to the size of life. They all mean nothing. The only thing that matters is that you are happy, and you are enjoying life. Focus on the size of life. The size of it next to everything else, then LIVE it.
Beauty is in many different things. Not just in the way people look, but in the way they are. I see beauty everywhere, in nature, my surroundings in people. The great thing about people is that we are all different. We all look different and sound different. We like different things and hate different things, but that is what makes us an individual. That is what makes us beautiful. You should not want to be somebody else’s beauty. Be your own. Look for beuaty, and you will find it. The way that many people view beauy is flawed. For me, I have realised that the most beautiful people to me are the people who are so amazingly unique. They are funny and strong. Kind and outgoing. They are flawed. And beuatiful. They are wonderful pieces of life, pieces that creat happiness everyday. And to me, that is true beauy.
Striving to perfection suppresses you. I have always always been a hardcore perfectionist. I have a drilled in instinct to do better. All the time. But I have come to realise that the most beautiful and wonderful forms of true self-expression come from imperfection. Words do not have to be perfect to be beautiful. They do not have to be continuously perfect, to be powerful, to give effect. Putting pressure on yourself to be perfect only suppresses you. It puts a block between you and your creativity, and disables you from living your life freely.
Nobody knows yourself as well as you do. Even the closest people to us, the ones who know us the absolute most. Do not know you as well as you do. You are inside of you, and your mind works because of you. It is yours and yours only. The mind of yours that other people see is only the only you express to them, the one you show. Your true mind, your true self. Your abilities, your drawbacks. Your true feelings, are things you will often only know. Only you know the complexity of yourself, because nobody can see your mind like you can.
That was therapeutic asf.
So there were a few jumbly thoughts, I hope you enjoyed them. Some were written over a month ago. Some opinions I have changed .etc. I just think it is very interesting to see. I have LOVED writing this, and I know this is a long post. But I would LOVE to make this a series of hugely long, rambly posts. So let me know if you liked it, and we can all be a cute lil group of people who doubt existence together.