Hi lovelies, I hope you are all having the most wonderful Spring, this is the season for Fresh starts, pretty flowers and positivity, so make sure you enjoy it and grab new opportunities whenever you can. I have not sat down, typed and just talked to you guys for a little while, and I really love when we can all just chat and write whatever we wish with no editing or fancy words. So I have almost hit 250 followers, which is insane considering I only just hit 200 the other day. Once again, thank you all so much for making this happen for me. Blogging is one of the best things I have ever chosen to do in my life.
Now, you may or may not know, that these last few months have been really hard for me. I have had to deal with many rough times, so much stress and such a huge amount of negativity, and that becomes overwhelming. I know many people go through things like this, but sometimes I feel like my whole world is just crashing on me, and the simple thought of not being able to put it back together is absolutely terrifying. But I think through these times of sadness, and despair. Through panic and grief we learn so much about ourselves as people. We learn so much about this person that we appear to be. You see, I can go out and look entirely happy, I can look like nothing will or can break me because that is the way I want to come across. But then I will go home, I will wipe of my makeup, get into bed, and I will cry. Because secretly the world is caving in, and the simple idea of rolling out of bed in the morning has become oh so terrifying.
But I think I can learn from that. Just because you break, does not mean you cannot get straight back up again and fight it, it doesn’t mean you cannot aspire to reach your own happiness. Nothing can stop you from achieving something, apart from yourself. If you want to improve something then improve it. If you want to beat a fear, beat it. If you want to achieve something, go for it. Prove to yourself you can do it. And then, nothing will stop you, not ever again, not even yourself.
And so, with this in mind. I decided that I would get my life together. Pull myself up, and stop fearing this thing that was stopping me, to stop fearing myself. I think we all have to accept that good days come, and bad days come. Some days you can be as happy as anything, then the next you can just be so sad and depressed, that you feel everything and anything is wrong. Including you. But it is what you do about those bad and good days, that is your choice. You cannot control suffering, but you can control the result of that suffering. You can control how suffering impacts you.
Sometimes, we have to do things for ourselves, we have to do things that will help us as an individual. sometimes, we have to go back into the storm of our lives, and clean up the aftermath. Even if it is scary, even if it is terrifying. We have to do it, for ourselves.
So, I guess that is what I am doing right now. Making the next few months better, making myself stronger, happier. Making myself see more positively and think more positively. because I need to do that, for myself. I need to clean up my life and be strong, just like I always say I am. This time, I am walking back into the storm.
Thank you so much for reading.
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