The only words I can summon are thank you. Every single one of you. Making this blog, was so very hard for me. And I think it has taken a while for reality to kick in and remind me that I, have really, actually done this. It has taken a while, because I have never done this sort of thing before. I have never opened up too so many people that I cannot even see. I have never written so freely, I have never felt so alive. I have never felt so completely at home, so completely me. And it is such a source of beauty. This community is so lovely, so welcoming. So thank you.
I have always wanted to be a part of this internet world. Ever since I clicked on my first YouTube video. I was there from the start. And it has been such a pleasure to watch platforms like YouTube and blogging form over time into what they now are today. It was a pleasure to watch Zoe Sugg’s subscribers grow day by day. It was a pleasure to watch Bloggers bringing out books, and getting interviewed on TV. This world of the internet has come so very far, in such a short space of time. The internet is the future. And ever since I clicked on my first video or read my first blog, I had always wanted it to be. My future.
When I started this blog. I remember the only person I had told about it asking me why i wanted to do it. I said i wanted to do it for purpose. I wanted to do it because I wanted to control my future and stop letting things like anxiety, stop that. I remember telling them that even if in a year I only gained 10 followers, I would put my heart and soul into every post. Because all I wanted to do was make those 10 people happy. And now, in just over a month I have 107. Wow.
So to you guys I just wanted to say a big thank you. You are all playing such a positive role in my life. Now the other day as we all know was the gloriously hyped up Valentines day. Now on Valentines day, I did something. That I would not usually do. It was something that pushed the boundaries of a delicate string of anxiety. But I did it. Even though I said I couldn’t.
I think, when it comes to beating fears. I have learnt that the only way you can gain control over your fears, is too try your hardest to beat them. It is like having a war with yourself. You can either let the version of you that has the fear take over your body, and technically your future. Or you could be the version of yourself that fights it. And i know that fighting it is hard, but after fighting it. You gain that bit of extra strengh and confidence. And when that happens, it can only go up from there.
At the end of 2015 I made myself a promise. I promised that this year, i would have fun. You see i know it sounds odd but I don’t think many people understand just how much fear can effect a person. I barely ever go out and have fun becuase my awful mind continuously convinces me that it is the wrong thing to do. So I made that promise to myself. And I swore I would never break it.
I think as people, we all come to that point in our lives. Where we are fed up of being controlled. Whether it be by a partner, anxiety, depression or suicidal thoughts. The one thing we are given in this world is our bodies, ourselves. And when that is taken away from you, that one thing that is yours. All you want to do is have it back. Because you have lost everything, including yourself.
So please, I know it is a lot to say. But please, go out. Push yourself and press the limits of your own mind. The only thing stopping you from doing something is yourself. So go out and have some fun, enjoy the experience. And beat a fear. Only then will you start to gain control of your future, but most importantly gain control of yourself.
Thank you so much for reading. And a huge thank you to everybody who has followed my blog. It seriously means the world to me, and honestly is the only thing that keeps me sane. I hope you enjoyed!
Please like and follow my blog. Also leave a comment about fears you have beaten recently or a fear you want to overcome.
Also I do apologise in advance if i am less active the next couple of days, as I am very busy!