My writing

Three, two, one, gone.

There are many things than can take place within that one small second.In one second 3 barbie dolls are sold, 60 lipsticks are made, 6 babies are born and in one second somebody, anybody could take their life. I think as humans when we are told something, we don’t truly believe it until we see evidence or a example of the said thing happening. I have always been one too consider death and its inevitability but never did i think anybody would want to challenge this inevitability, would want to face death himself with slit wrists and a broken soul. I never thought that would happen because, at the time, i had never seen any evidence. But sadly, there would be plenty of evidence to come.

I would say it began when i was in my late years of primary school, and early years of high school. That was when i truly knew what suicide meant. That’s when i truly saw people’s attitudes towards the topic. That’s when people chucked around statements like “go kill yourself” and “go commit” like they were in a match of word tennis and they had to win. That was when i saw my first piece of evidence. I saw the reaction on a girls face when i asked her why she had scratches up her arm and i saw her plastering on that fake smile she practiced while crying in the mirror with a simple reply of “my dog scratched me” and i saw her turn away and with a sigh brush away the hurt. Just another piece of evidence.

Its hurts me, it pains me to see, the black cloud of depression, pills, anxiety and suicidal attempts. It hurts me that when i see somebody get swamped in it, i cannot see them, i cannot help. That hurts me. It is invisible.But that is the thing, it is invisible, we cannot see it, we cannot collect the evidence until it happens in front of our very eyes. So the general replies to mental illness, the general replies to suicide remain the same, carved in stone. So the little girl cries on her own and puts on that smile again when her therapist tells her “you are simply in the wrong mindset” and her teachers tell her “we are here to support you, but your grades are the most important”. While her mum tells her she is beautiful and she has nothing to worry about, but society tells her she is ugly and her imperfections begin to define her. But the evidence is hidden and safe. Until the black fog wraps itself around her then we finally realize, she wasn’t in the wrong mindset, she was hurting.

Its odd we can’t see pain, we can’t see suffering. We can’t see it until it is gone. Until we have our evidence. Then we draw the conclusion that another one is gone, so the schools make leaflets to spread awareness, and the therapists try to make those suffering depression see the light. But it still doesn’t sink in, until it happens right before our eyes. Before the stories of suicide are made into reality and we can see that black fog, Until we feel it. Then we realize it is real. Then we can try to stop it, then we can try to stop them. But its no use because in one second they are gone.

You don’t know depression is real until you sit in a crowded room and you have never felt more alone. You don’t know anxiety is real until you feel every fear take over every cell in your body. You don’t know self-harm is real until you feel the pleasure of feeling again, the pleasure of killing the numbness and you don’t know suicide is real until we see that in one second we could have saved a life as quickly as it took for somebody to take their life. If we had just seen the evidence, if we had just seen they were hurting. Maybe then they wouldn’t have to count three, two, one. Maybe then they wouldn’t be gone.

Thank you so much for reading, this week i hit 15 followers (does a happy dance) so thank you so much to everybody who actually likes to read what i write and decided to click follow.

Please like, comment and follow my blog, it is greatly appreciated.

Love, Misstery.

35 thoughts on “Three, two, one, gone.

  1. What angers me is that after. AFTER someone is dead then comes the people with there help. Oh here is some therapy like as if the person is not dead and I know they come from a good place trying to prevent further deaths but really really. This is a heavy load especially being new to you blog and all (community swimming pool brought me here) lovely blog

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your writing is really good! And this post is so true. I cannot stand when people underestimate mental illnesses and say they’re depressed when they’re really just having a bad day. It’s so inconsiderate to those who really do suffer. I have ADHD and I hate when people say they have it just because they can’t focus on homework. It’s so much more than that and I wish people would think twice before saying things like that.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is so important and I’m so happy you posted about it. You’re blog is going to be an awesome thing, I already can tell! I’m looking forward to reading a lot more from you. You have a beautiful writing style. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. We can’t see suicide because we don’t respect people’s autonomy over their own body.

    Saying a person shouldn’t kill themselves is like forcing a woman into sex. It’s disrespecting the ownership of the person over their own body. Suicide is a rational choice people make when life isn’t worthwhile. We never get a chance to consent to life, so we at least deserve to consent to death.

    No, no one has any moral obligation to ‘improve’ just as you don’t have a moral obligation to date people you don’t like, or go to concerts you don’t want to go. We will only be able to communicate with suicidal people once we accept their desires.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I absolutely agree. Its a shame our society does not fully understand the desire a person feels when suicidal, as i said in the blog many people like to blame suicide on that person’s mind set and act like what they are feeling will just dissapear,and it won’t.You are right everybody should have control over when they would like to face death and if society would simply realise that maybe we would see suicide in a new light. Thank you so much for your comment:)


  5. Pingback: Three, two, one, gone. | fightorflights

  6. This post made me want to cry. I am surrounded by depression and I see it’s dark arms surround and try to drown people. My stepmother has depression, anxiety, PTSD… The list goes on. But best friend and her sister had a very hard time at their fathers house and now they both struggle with the thought of being here, on this earth.

    Worst for me is my friend that had to be put into a mental ward because she wouldn’t stop trying to die. When she escaped the hospital she tried to jump in front of a bus, when they put her in a police car she hit her was against the window until she blacked out, ten in the hospital she ran into the toilet and broke the toy let paper holder, trying to slit her wrists with it. What I am saying is that some people who say they know these people won’t know them at all. They won’t know the eternal internal struggle they are facing. Like you said, they need evidence. Anyway, sorry for blocking up your comments.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh sweetie that is completely fine.I just want to tell you that you are so brave, and everyone you know who is going through such an awful thing is so brave. You are a wonderful and great person and you are so strong for being able to share such a touchy situation with me. Trust me, it doesn’t matter how much negativity you are surrounded by, you can still see the light just as long as you don’t let it define you. Keep being your incredibly strong self, I have so much respect for you for having to deal with that xx xx always here for you whenever you need me:)

      Liked by 1 person

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